Simon is here
by a-book-lover
Summary: Isabelle feels like life has no meaning once Simon loses his memory.
1. Chapter 1

i woke up crying. It had been a year. A whole year. I just couldnt believe it. One year since i had lost Max. He had always been my angel, and i definately hadnt told him enough how much i loved him. Maybe it was because i didnt know how much i loved him at the time. Maybe it is true, you only appreciate the things you have once you lose them. I dont really know. I just know i woke up crying feeling alone. Feeling like there was no one in the world that could make me feel better. Me, Isabelle lightwood, feeling weak.  
>I didnt know how i had got there. How did i get into a situation where showing feelings is wrong? that only made me cry louder. The thought of realizing i had to wake up the next morning and do like if everything was okay killed me. my life was falling appart. My thoughts were killing me. My family didnt actually know me, max was gone, and now i had lost simon, too.<br>Simon was gone. well, not actually gone, but everything we had gone through wasnt there any more. We had no memories, no history. We were a white page. And it hurted so badly, because i had to start all over again with pretending i was this strong, impossibleto-hurt girl. And i just would not be able to handle it. Because, who knew? Maybe simon would not find the truth about me this time. And then, i would be totally alone.  
>I realized i wasnt breathing properly, as my head was strongly buried in the could this happen? how could i be so broken. i turned around and moved to the other side of the bed. i cried louder, nobody could listen to me, anyway. Alec was with Jace in their room, far away from mine, and my mother was in Idris.<br>My life was empty, i had nothing left. Thre were no bright thoughts going through my mind, just an idea of complete emptiness. Nothing mattered anymore. Everything i once had was gone. I had been happy, Max had made me happy, and once he was gone, Simon had healed the wound and had made me happy again. But now i had no-one. Maybe i just wasnt meant to be happy, maybe there are people who are, and maybe im just not one of them. Maybe my destiny was losing the things i love... maybe, maybe i had done something wrong. Maybe happiness isnt for everyone


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning with dry tears in my face.I was feeling awful, just the idea of having to stand up and pretend everything was okay made me want to go back to bed. I stretched before moving to the edge of the bed to look at the clock. I opened my eyes and... Wow! It was 10:30 in the morning. I had to wake up at six to go training with Jace. He would kill me. I stood up quickly and put on a pair of pants, a tight black- training shirt and some high-heel boots. Then, i went ot the bathroom and just stood there looking at myself in the mirror. I was tired and sad, and both things could be seen in the image in front of me. I shook my head and then opened the first drawer just to find my hairbrush wasnt there. I sighed and then went back to the bedroom to grab a coat. I took a black one with grey sleeves and went out of the room quickly. The hallway was silent, which wasnt common in our part of the building. I wondered if something wrong had happened but continued walking. I went down the stairs and then into the kitchen. There, i found someone i surely wasnt expecting.

Simon. Simon was there, sitting looking directly at the door and now, at me. My heart started beating quickly, my legs trembling, and i just stood there, without being able to talk, as i was just to concentrated looking at him. What was he doing there? He wasnt supposed to be in my kitchen. He wasnt supposed to be anywhere near us. Anywhere near this scary, fictional-like world of the shadowhunters. He looked at me carefully for some seconds. I just stayed still, in front of the door, looking at him but not with the enough courage to look into his eyes.

"You must be Isabelle" He said, his voice was the same as it had been before, caring, deep, thoughtful.

I nodded, tears appearing slowly in my eyes with the thought that he really didnt know who i was.

"I knew who you were the moment you stepped out of the door. They told me i was going to find you here, and you´re just like they told me you were" he said

"How did they tell you i was?" i asked shyly. I didnt know this feeling, this feeling of wanting to talk to him but not having the courage to. Why had i asked that. It was such a silly question, and i probably sounded like an idiot. Anyway, he smiled slightly and then stood up.

"They told me you were beautiful, extremely beautiful. They told me you always wear black and they told me you would be really surprised to see me..." He stood up and got near me. My heart beating quicker with every one of his steps. I wanted to smile at him. I wanted to be able to answer, but i couldnt, because i knew that if i smiled at him like i smiled at everyone else, id break down into tears, because he had been the person to whom i could be honest to, the person who i really trusted, the person i didnt have to smile at if i didnt feel like it. He came closer. As he walked, he looked into my eyes.

"Look, im going to be honest with you. Im a really shy person, but there´s something about you that makes me feel confident. When Clary, or the blonde guy talk about you," I smiled when he said 'the blonde guy' "when they talk about you, i feel like i have to get to know you, because, somehow, i feel like i was made for that. I feel like somehow, i was made to meet you. And i know it sounds really weird but, i just cant stop thinking about you," He made a pause "Well, the idea of you...So, Isabelle, would you like to go out with me today?"

I stayed silent for some seconds before finally figuring what to say. " I'd like to, but after everything that has happened..." And then, i shuted up, as i didnt know if he KNEW that somjething had happened. My doubt must had been really obvious, because, he took a step closer and then said:

"Dont worry, i know what happened to me... well, a part of it, what people are willing to tell me"

I stayed quiet.

"Look," He said "When Clary explained me what happened in the past few months, she kept repeating your name. So i figured out you must have been someone important to me. So i asked her where could i find you and she told me that i shouldnt come. This happened about a week ago. But i kept thinking about you, i kept thinking that you must be such an amazing person, because they didnt tell me much, but they did repeated your name and how you cared about me. So, i figured out that i had to come and see you."

At that point, i didnt know what to say. i stayed quiet for some seconds and then said "You should go. You dont belong here"

" I know i dont," He answered to my surprise " But i want to. I dont want to be a part of the world i know. I wasnt to belong to the world in which fairies and vampires and shadowhunterts exist. And most of all, i want to live in a world where a person like this Isabelle i´ve been told about exists." He said.

i had tears in my eyes. he was Simon. He was my simon. He was back. He did not remember me, but he was still the same person, the same person who would be kind no matter what, the same person who would always moved as he talked to me, the same person i could trust.

"so," He said "Isabelle, would you go on a date with me?"

"Yes, i´d like to" i said, as i got near and hugged him trying to contain my tears.


	3. Chapter 3

I spent the whole day locked in my room. I just wanted that afternoon to be perfect, i wanted to have a great time with him, i wanted to feel he was the same, and most of all, i wanted to make him remember.  
>The day went by slowly, with me inside my room thinking about what i would wear, what would i say and how would i act. In that last thing i had the problem. I didnt know how to act beside him. Before, i had been completly honest and he had been my safe heaven. But that had took us time, time in which we got to know each other and earned each other´s trust. But now things were different. Because we didnt had to get to know each other, he had to get to know me while i knew everything about him. And i really needed that safe heaven at that time, i really needed him back.<p>

Around one o clock someone knocked on my door. At that point of the day i was desperated.

"Who is it?!" i shouted from my bed, hoping it was a mistake or that someone was just there for a quick visit.

"Clary" She answered. I sighed. She visited me everyday and asked me how i was doing or if i felt okay with everything that was happening. I always told her i was. i saw how the door knot went down as she tried to open the door and failed given the fact that i had locked it. "Come on, Izzy, Let me in!" She said

"I just want to be alone, is that wrong?" i asked

"No, of course its not. But you´ve been wanting to be alone for the past few weeks, so i am worried. I just wanted to check on you and see.."

"how i am doing" i interrupted.

"Exactly," She said, "Can you just let me in? i know today is a special day for you..."

I stood up sighing and opened the door slowly. Clary stepped inside the room and looked around. She did the same everyday, like hoping that something could be different, but of course, my room always stayed the same.

"So...he told you.." i said, as i sat on the bed and she came near.

"Yes, he did" She answered.

I layed on the bed as i sighed loudly " I just CAN´T believe he told you!" i said

"oh, no, dont be mad at him, he didnt come to tell me anything. He just came to ask me what kind of flowers do you like" That made me smile. He was bringing me flowers. That was so HIM!

"What did you tell him?" i asked, just to say something.

"I told him i didnt know. But i did tell him you like chocolate" I laughed. Yeah, i surely did like chocolate

"so... are you nervous?" She asked, sitting beside me on the bed

"I... I dont know... Im a little confused... why did he come here this morning?" I asked

"He came here because he knows you were important to him."

"Yeah, that´s what he told me, but how can he know that? He just knows i was important because of what people told him"

"Yes. And as he was told about you, he wanted to get to know you and came here"

I stayed silent. I didnt like how that sounded.

"And...what are you wearing?"

"A blue skirt and a white t-shirt." I answered, "He used to like my blue skirt" And then i stayed silent. Because he didnt like the skirt itself, he liked it because i was wearing it the first time we kissed. But now he didnt remember that. He didnt remember anything. The thought of this made me start to cry, the tears appeared in my eyes suddenly and i just couldnt contain myself.

Clary got near and hugged me tightly. "It´s going to be okay" She said

"How can you know?" i answered, looking at her in the eyes.

"It always is... in the end, things are okay"

"I used to believe that, too" I said "But if there´s something that max´s death taught me is that things arent made to be okay, sometimes, life just isnt fair"

"Look," She said "You are going to have a great date with Simon today. I know that. So you should just try to enjoy it."

"That´s where im confused. Im scared im not going to have a good date with him. Im scared im not going to feel the same as i felt before."

"Of course you´re going to have a great date. And that´s because he might have forgotten about you, but he´s still the same person. He´s still the same person you fell in love with, once"

"Its just that i dont like the thought that im only words to him, to Simon, im only what people told him about me"

"That´s not true" She said slowly "You´re not just words to him"

"Yes i am, his mind is blank, he doesnt remember me"

"His mind forgot, that´s true. But his heart didnt"


End file.
